If there is a crisis in the relationship, this does not directly indicate a separation. However, in order to get out of a difficult time together, it is necessary to work on the conflict and the relationship. As a rule, the earlier you start, the easier it is to overcome a relationship crisis.
In this article, you will learn how to recognize the first warning signs and what you can do to save your relationship.
The first warning signs
Typically, a crisis in a relationship is a gradual process. Small disruptive factors are initially suppressed and the partner’s quirks are ignored. However, over time, uncommunicated conflicts can intensify or even pile up, so that ultimately a small trigger is enough to tip the proverbial scales. When you suddenly find yourself in a crisis, you ask yourself: How did it get this far?
First of all, it must be said that every relationship has its own dynamics and that the reasons for a relationship crisis can vary greatly. However, there are some signs that are particularly common in the early stages:
Lack of communication: You lose track of each other’s lives and emotions. You no longer really know what is on your partner’s mind and what their needs are. You are also no longer able or willing to share your inner feelings. A kind of resignation arises, the motivation to involve your partner in your own life decreases and your interest in the other person decreases at the same time.
You take each other for granted: once everyday life has set in, it’s easy to forget what you have in each other. It can quickly happen that you no longer appreciate the other person as much as you used to. You no longer make time for your relationship, hardly go out together and no longer have in-depth conversations. As a result, you gradually drift apart and hardly take part in each other’s lives.
Destructive arguing: Arguing in itself is not necessarily negative for a relationship. However, if the arguments (often over small things) become more frequent, this is a sign that a relationship crisis is brewing. The way in which you resolve (or don’t resolve) conflicts is also crucial – if you ignore your partner’s appeals and views when arguing, devalue him/her or show no willingness to listen, you are usually already in crisis.
Lack of intimacy: A lack of affection and physical closeness also creates emotional distance. It is normal that after several years in a relationship, the desire for touch and closeness with your partner decreases. However, if you start to see sexual interactions in your relationship as a chore rather than a pleasure, this may indicate a relationship crisis.
Jealousy/lack of space: A little jealousy is okay and can even rekindle the relationship. However, it becomes critical if the jealousy is obsessive. If you try to monitor and control your partner and lose trust in them, or if you yourself feel that your partner is restricting you, this not only creates a bad mood, but is also an indicator of an impending relationship crisis.
How to overcome the relationship crisis:
A crisis is a real challenge for your relationship. It is important that you respond to the problems and tackle them together. If you agree that it’s worth saving your relationship, you and your partner will have to invest a lot of time and perseverance. You can also find a few tips here to help you overcome your crisis.
- Remember the beginning
Actively think back to the beginning of your relationship. What did you particularly appreciate about each other back then? Why did you choose each other? Think back to loving gestures and express your gratitude for each other, perhaps a small love letter, a kiss on the forehead or a big hug. It can also help to actively create a romantic situation in which you focus on your past and on each other.
- Take some time out
If there are too many points of conflict that cannot be resolved even through intensive discussions, taking time out from each other can help. Take a break from your relationship by mutual agreement for a predetermined period of time. This gives you both time to let feelings such as anger and disappointment subside, to realize the meaningfulness of your relationship and to miss each other. This will increase your appreciation for each other.
- Leave everyday life
Especially in long-term, committed relationships, the monotony of everyday life is a killer of romance and passion. If you are in a relationship crisis, you can rekindle your love by escaping the routine. Try to distance yourself from everyday problems by going on a short trip or vacation. A relaxed, stress-free atmosphere will allow you to see your relationship in a new light and help you to solve problems more easily.
- Seek external help
If you can no longer resolve your problems between yourselves, it can help to talk to a third, impartial person. This could be a friend or a trained therapist in the course of couples therapy. In general, asking for help shows courage and a willingness to work on the relationship.
Once you’re in a crisis, the way out is not easy. The question quickly arises: should I fight or break up? Every relationship is unique and in some cases, separation may be the only way out. However, if both partners have enough feelings and the will to continue, it is possible to find a way out of a crisis together. In addition, it can even help you grow closer together as a couple.